She Got Married
October 4, 2014 was the best day in the history of days.
After months of freaking out over every little thing, wanting to run away, and crying over miniature easels, October 4th rolled around and with it a total calm. I knew deep down: the best day in the history of days had arrived and I was living it. And I was getting married.
Let's rewind a bit, shall we?
Summer 2008. I was floundering like so many young 20 somethings who just came careening out of college into the brick wall of Real Life. I had no idea what I was doing and was completely broke, but I tried to make the most of being a Young Lady In The City. This meant perusing OkCupid and going on a bunch of lousy dates (and some good ones, sure). Did I go on some just for the free dinner? Yes. #Feminism.
October 2008. A young man popped up in my OkCupid Matches. He was cute, seemed smart, had a picture with Jaques Pepin. My interest was piqued. I messaged him.
Record scratch! "What? YOU messaged HIM? Molly, that's not how dating works!!! The man should always do the hunting! Why were you not foraging for berries and cleaning your cave?" (This is exaggerated but not all that different from some things I've heard from friends and strangers about online dating or dating in general.) LADIES, LISTEN. Sometimes, you're gonna have to do the heavy lifting of introducing yourself. It's RIDICULOUS to think that you have to wait for someone to come to you. Do you want something? GO GET IT. I could rant about this for days but that's not what this post is about. Suffice it to say that if I had not clicked "send" on that message, I wouldn't be with Adam today. MIND FREAK. Moving on.
Two days before Obama was elected president, we went on a first date. A date that started at lunch time and ended after dinner and a movie. It would be super cute to admit here that I knew from our first round of bowling (which I won) that we'd be together forever but I had no such thoughts. I knew I liked him, I knew I wanted to spend more time with him, and I knew he wasn't just trying to let me win (which I appreciated). Looking back now, I think that realization came a few months later. I had mentioned my love of bubble baths and the next time I was at his place, he had bought a candle, Mr. Bubble, and a bottle of bleach to clean his bachelor pad tub. If a dude scrubbing the gunk from his tub so you can have a little oasis when you're over there doesn't scream romance I don't know what does. (Note: that may have been the last time Adam ever cleaned a tub but he made it count.)
January 2014 (that's five and a half years for those keeping score as most of my friends and family were at this point). Disney World. Magic Kingdom. Molly's Happy Place. We had talked about getting married and I pretty much figured the proposal would happen during this trip but I didn't know exactly when. And then I saw the ring box in his pocket. For the whole day. Just chilling in there. Taunting me. Finally, while the fireworks were booming, he brought out the bling. Then it occurred to me: I had to plan a wedding.
Some girls plan their wedding, I planned my wedding cake. My mom made cakes professionally when I was growing up and I loved going through all the catalogs and picking out my favorites. There was one to beat them all. The cover of the 1989 Wilton's. It was huge. It had stairs. It had a fountain. It would be mine. Other than dessert, I hadn't thought much about my future Big Day. I knew I wanted my sisters to be my bridesmaids and I wanted them to wear dark purple but other than that I was mentally tapped out.
Some women have fun planning their wedding. I was not one of them. I'd like to formally apologize to all family, friends, and especially Adam for how cranky I was for those 10 months. You may remember the name of my former blog? Wicked Cheap? So named because I, to my core, am wicked cheap. Spending money does not come easily to me and planning a wedding felt like putting money in a bag and lighting it on fire. "WHY DID WE NOT ELOPE?" was shouted more than once. A day.
October 4, 2014. It was all worth it. Everything. Every penny, every panic attack.
There are two things everyone tells you about your upcoming wedding: that it goes by too quickly and that you won't get a chance to eat your meal. To the latter I thought, "do you even know how much Adam and I love food?" I'm happy to say we both enjoyed our full meal AND cake. Obviously. To the former I say, it does and it doesn't. The earlier part of the day is blurry, but once I got the dress on and started taking photos it's all crystal clear.
I remember every bit of it. Getting to the museum where it was all taking place and waiting for what seemed like FOREVER for the ceremony to start. My face hurting from smiling so hard. Seeing that handsome guy in his suit. My brother making it official. And finally, the best party I've ever been to. All of my favorite people in one place, in a perfect setting, dancing their butts off. After being something of a Wedding Grinch in the months leading up to it, my heart grew three sizes that day.
One thought repeated itself.
"This is exactly what I wanted."